Burdened
by hannahroar
Summary: A look into Loki's mind, to find what he's truly burdened with. This is a work in progress, and non-sequential. Please enjoy.


_This can't be possible._

* * *

Jotunheim.

It seems nothing more than a bitter, frozen wasteland. I'm sure Thor sees it as something more. Home to his enemies. The Forbidden Land. Thor knows not what he is doing. He's a reckless fool, and somehow I'm dragged along on this suicide mission to confront the Jotuns on matters that concern us not.

Well, they don't concern Thor. Yes, I let those Jotuns in, but it was a trick. A joke. I knew the destroyer would take care of them easily, then I assumed we would get right back to Thor's ceremony. But it seems he is determined on proving just how not fit for the throne he is this night. Flipping tables and throwing a tantrum like a child when father denied him battle. Idiot.

I didn't think he would actually take the bait and run to 'war,' as he calls it. And with those insufferable brutes he calls friends. They are as quick to fight as Thor, and just as strong. They could easily cause enough trouble to push us into a real war. I've never trusted them, and I'm certainly wary now that we're standing in front of the Jotun king.

Laufey. I've grown up despising him, but he speaks the truth about my brother. He thinks himself to be just as our father, but Odin is wise where Thor is reckless. He's just a child, trying to prove that which needed no proving before. I'm sure Laufey knows what he is doing. Goading Thor into fighting, striking first. Yes, here he goes. Tired of their mockery, is he? Then shut up and lets just leave.

"Thor, stop. And think." Though I know it's not his strongest asset. "Look around you." They're getting ready to fight, can't he see? "We're outnumbered." And a third their size. It would take a miracle to make it back to Asgard alive.

"Know your place, brother." Look at him, talking to me as if he's already king. We are equals right now, no matter that he's fathers first born. I for one would like to leave this place in one piece. Perhaps it is Thor who should know his place.

"Go now. While I still allow it." Laufey is letting us leave. Yes, let us go. Avoid a battle. Avoid a pointless war. Don't screw up your chances for the throne too much, Thor. But he does not want to go. He wants to fight. He actually wants to stay and fight, even though he knows father has forbidden it. Well, let me show you my place, brother. It is saving your ass.

"Yes, we will accept your most...gracious offer." I turn to go, but he doesn't move. Thor just stares at the Frost Giant king as if he could kill him with his eyes. "Come on, brother." I rasp out, fed up with Thor's behaviour. He really is a child sometimes. He just turns to follow when we hear it. Laufey's voice is almost seductive, luring Thor to the battle he lusts for so greatly.

"Run back home, little princess."

"Damn." Now nothing will stop Thor. I can feel him grin as he extends Mjolnir and swings it into the Jotun king behind him. Here we go.

At once, we all spring into action. Maces and swords and knives are flying and sailing through the air at the same time as we dodge the giant's icy limbs. Of course, Thor demands a challenge. Does he even want us to get out of this with our lives? They're appearing out of nowhere, as if they are springing up from the very ice beneath our feet. Why do I let myself be dragged into these situations? I would much rather be home in the library studying magic or history. Or switching out Volstagg's mead with a sleeping draught that will last a week. I suppose it's my penalty for teasing Thor with this idea in the first place.

I'm nearly out of knives, and Thor's actions and declarations are only spurning more adversaries. I need to play this smart. Well, that shouldn't be too hard. These frost giant soldiers are as dim as the twilight we fight in. As I duck behind a large wall of ice, I send forth a projection of myself. Yes, look scared. A giant is coming right for you. Really, I think, as the soldier goes sailing through the projection and into a chasm, this was too easy.

There, what is that? From the corner of my eye, Volstagg is struck. A hand to the arm, and his skin is turning black. He shouts to not let them touch you. Idiot, they're ice people. That should have been a given. I really am in the midst of fools.

Behind me, quick, can't run, knife, stab. What? He grabs me, and it is a touch like burning ice. It is as if my arm is freezing, turning black before my eyes. I don't even have time to scream before the impossible happens. It... breaks? What is going on? It is as if my skin is falling off in shards. Underneath, the pale white is turning... blue? And his touch is no longer cold. It is as if we are the same temperature. We are both staring at my arm in his hand, this frost giant and I. As if neither of us can believe what we are seeing. I lock eyes with his red ones, and I can see he is beginning to understand something. Something I am desperately trying to fight down because it just _can't be true._ _This can't be possible._I take advantage of his distraction, send a knife into his chest that has him falling to the ground.

The second he lets go, my arm starts to change, to return to its normal pallor. I don't understand. Wha- I- No. This can't be. This isn't right. He did something to me, that's it. I'm cursed. I look around. We're failing. This isn't the time to nor the place to deal with this. I can't afford distraction. We need to get out of here. I need to speak to father. I need... to understand what is going on.

* * *

_Please let me know what you think._

_More to come. _

_-H _


End file.
